Just for the pun of it, here are a few puns.  Add yours and Charlie will award $20 to the person posting the best pun of the year.

1.  A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccons.  The stewardess looks at him and says:  "I'm sorry sir, only one carrion allow per passenger.

2.  Two hydrogen atoms meet.  One says, "I've lost my electron.  The other says:  "Are you sure?"  The first replies: "Yes, I'm positive."

3.  Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused novocain during root canal drilling?  His goal:  transcend dental medication.

4.  A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise some funds.  Since everyone liked to buy flowers from  the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.  He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close.  They ignored him. So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.  Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store,saying he would be back if they did not close up shop.  Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

5.  No matter how much you push an envelope, it will still be stationery. 

WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT ON THE MOUNTAIN TODAY  (It was another very busy day.)

All living things are inter-connected.  Right down to the minutia of
existence.  For example, the nose size of one species of fruit fly grows
in proportion to the flowers it visits to sip nectar.  In 100 million
years it's nose continued to evolve in proportion to the length of the
flower buds  it visits.  It now measures several times the length of it's
body. That's because over time the size of the flower buds  grew about
1/100,000,000 of an inch per year.

Humans don't fully understand the universe because we can not comprehend basic
components like space, matter  and time.  Everything works out for the
better in a few hundred million years or more or less.

Man measure things in relation to himself.  That's the ultimate ego trip.

*** How clean and unspoiled the forest looks today.  The leaves are on the ground, except for a few stragglers clinging to the branches.  The wind has arranged them into colorful carpets at the base of the trees.  The rain has cleaned the air.  The stream has refreshed itself as it flows down into the river.  Nature has a way of keeping things  neat and tidy as one season ends and another begins.  It's Fall cleaning time!  (11/4/09)

THE QUARTER WALK

Two days in a row I went to the local sandwich shop for breakfast.  Two days in a row I ate the same breakfast.  Two days in a row, I received two quarters and one nickel in change.  So today, I had four quarters and two nickels in my pocket, as hiked to my favorite writing spot in the forest to write a song.  As I reached into my right pocket to get a pen, a quarter fell to the ground.  I picked it up and mentally began talking to myself  in Hungarian!  What the hell was that all about?  I had not talked to myself in Hungarian for over fifty years.  Hova mesz kisoreg. Nem siet el.

Must have been a flashback to the days when grandma would give me a quarter and then said: " Where are you going little man.  Don't be in a hurry to leave."  We both knew why I walked five miles to get to grandma's house. I gave her a hug and ran off to the candy store. There is a song in there somewhere.

We are exploring only the tip of an iceburg....I don't know if we control it or it controls us.....I learn something new about every minute...I have to unlearn something old about every ten seconds.....there is now little need for a format like songster.org.....its all already available out there, in the "cloud"............the tools to do everything that has already been done are out there for everyone to use.....doing something NEW is the only mystery, and they say there is nothing new under the sun.........the newest thing I found this week was the ability to twitter a song file directly....this is humongous!  we can promote any  songster instantly!  and to the whole world, not just to the users of a web site......and not just on computers, but on personal devices, like phones and PDA's...so now I predict the death of the world wide web as we know it.  It is now the "cloud", and everything is out there in the "cloud".  The other thing I discovered this morning (check out the home page)....... is "soundcloud"!   You'll hear Joe Cromwell's song on it.  The only thing I can say is that these tools may not yet be widely known, but the news in cloud travels at the speed of lightning.  If only we can wield these weapons before their proliferation renders us all obsolete yet again.

you know, this endless search for perfection has its boring side...I spent my childhood trying to perfect my classical piano chops to the point that I refused to play for anyone because it just never was good enough...now I see the value in spontaneous creation...maybe because there's so little time left for perfection....

WHY I WRITE SONGS

Life is but a constantly changing flow of experiences. Song writing is a vehicle for documenting experiences and feelings, sharing them and, in the process, arriving at a better understanding of what they mean.  Why do you write or sing songs?

Tonight I had more than one inspirational moment, and it would seem that all is right with the universe.  Not the whole universe, mind you, but my particular corner of the  universe. 

I have friends, I have family, I have uselful service to give to the community, and I have music.

These are my gifts.

Last night I sat in the dark in my driveway listening to the universe.  But I was not alone.

In my hand was a brand new smart phone, the Palm Pre, the iPhone killer, this week's latest new thing. 

I watched as the screen lit up with hundreds of messages streamed in from the "twitterverse" ...each message complete with a picture of the sender, the sender's shout out (called a tweet) and a contact hyperlink.

Thousands of people were out there in the night, broadcasting their instant messages to the world! 

It all  seemed so familiar...had I been here before?

Yes!  On the same dark street more than 50 years before a teenager walked not alone but in the company of a disembodied voice...a voice that streamed in from the hand held miracle of that particular age:  a portable transistor radio!

And I knew it for a truth:  "We are not alone!"

There is only one commandment in the remixer's bible:  thou shalt play thy friend's music.  To become an acolyte of this religion, you must only begin to listen to the songs of your friends.  To become a novice, you must actually attempt to play them.  To become a priest, you must produce a written record of your devotion in the form of a song, and as an elder, you guide others to the music.  So here is my first offering as a priest:  a remix of Pat Matteson song I've pretty much always admired: "Trouble".  you'll find the audio file here:

http://www.songstermusicdatabase.com/community/music/gallery/Trouble-Remix

Here's a link to my favorite singing performance ever!  What's yours?

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk

Yesterday I had to leave town for work. It was my 10th anniversary. Mary and I figured we'd just celebrate it on a different day. I ended up getting back early, went home, had one of the best nights with my wife ever. Go figure!

Spaghetti dinner, wine and "Planes, Trains & Automobiles". Although we've been married for 10 years we started dating almost 10 years before that. Holy mackerel! We still enjoy one another.

There once was a country called Chronologia whose scientists had discovered a cure for death. It seemed that if one could reset the biological clock at precisely the right moment, one could stop all aging dead in its tracks. 
So a law was passed and every citizen of Chronologia was obliged to take the cure: At precisely 35 years, 10 days, 2 hours, and 37 minutes after their moment of birth each citizen of Chronologia was to be struck on the forehead, quite sharply, with a blunt instrument by a certified Chronologian practitioner, rather like ringing a bell. And ding! the biological clock would be stopped dead in its tracks! No more aging, no more death! Only a bunch of stunned 35 year olds forever! What a wonderfull world!
But woe to those who missed their appointment! Or to anyone who had already passed their critical deadline. For there was no going back once that deadline had been passed.
So in the end there were only two kinds of people in Chronolgia, the growing ranks of the forever young, and the dwindling numbers of old ones, condemned, rather like those who had missed their train, to feel themselves forever receding into the distance.

This NY Senate debacle has me really embarrassed and pissed off. The price we pay for electing inept leadership is enormous. There is a tax, service charge, fee and/or penalty on everything imaginable. Our taxes and utility charges are among the highest in the country and we get the poorest returns. We need to replace the incumbent juveniles and the electoral process by which they were elected. "No work, no pay" is a start for Senators AND Governors. Talking is NOT work!

 THE BERKSHIRES, FRIDAY, JUNE 19, 2009 

The  Guthrie Center, Great Barrington, MA was impressive, easily the best venue I went to this year.  It’s an old church converted into a community hall.  The architecture, especially the  millwork, is classically simple but elegant.  The  rest rooms are spotless.  The food  simple,  mostly organic, tasty and bargain priced.  The date nut bread at $4.00 complete with cream cheese and a fruit garnish was outstanding.  Every one I spoke to was friendly, helpful and efficient.  It’s first class all the way.

The perfect venue was surpassed only by the brilliant musical performance  ..... the world premier of “Hue Manatee’s Quest”, by James Durst,  described in the program as “A magical, mystical, folk musical for planetary citizens of all ages”.

 The production rivaled anything you could expect to see on or off Broadway.  The narrative story evoked the imagination of the audience more so than could have elaborate costuming and stage props. James Durst is an accomplished wordsmith. 

  Most of the  musicians had Broadway experience and all of the players had the added advantage of thoroughly enjoying the evening as much as the audience.  The standing ovation following the performance was richly deserved.  It was a case of mission accomplished........”to inspire and uplift, while conveying a message of environmental urgency and peace”.   It's always a pleasure to watch talented people carrying on enthusiastically at their trade.   

 While walking to the car humming “and the river just keeps flowing on and on” I had the feeling that a new folk music classic was born last Friday night in the Berkshires.   Woody would have been proud

THE  GARDEN

There is something magical about planting a seed, nurturing it and then being nourished by it in return -- nutritionally and spiritually.  "Many cultures hold seed sacred, because it contains all the elements of life" (Merriam Dena).  You can learn a lot about life by growing a garden.  

  I see lots of sites out there selling CD's (like CD baby) and others selling songs for 99 cents, and I ask, how much money have YOU made from any of this.  With music like water, that is, music almost everywhere and perceived to be free, it's hard to make money.  If you havn't SOLD much music, I ask how much music have you BOUGHT?  Personally, I spend money on music, even in this economy.  I have purchased CD's from CD baby (of amatuers, yes) - and have downloaded 99 cent songs, but in reality this amounts to nothing in face of the tons of music and music videos I see for free ------or seemingly for free-------on the net.  But just as water SEEMS to be free (but it's not  - we all pay utility bills) so does the music SEEM to be free, but it's not:  somebody is making advertising money from these cuts, just not the artists....that is, not the small artists, anyway.  And even the big artists get only a small amount of this ad money as most of it still goes to the record companies, etc.  So can we change that?  'Cause I'm a big fan of getting paid, even though for music to date I have only paid out...even to the point of supporting others: amatuers, and other people like me.  And there are others doing the same. You know them, but you know not what they do.  But the times they are a changin.  I have a mind to put my hand to that change, and pull for the tide that raises all boats.  But first you've got to get on a boat, join a crew.  And this time around, no captain's, please.  We're all out on this ocean together.

You Type...She speaks the words you typed.
 (Type something in  the left  space and then click on  'Say it,'  she says it!)

You can also use clicks to change persons doing the talking and the language they  speak.

http://www.oddcast.com/home/demos/tts/frameset.php?frame1=talk

IT WAS A VERY BUSY DAY 

Guitar intro

(D) It was a very busy day today

There was so much to (A7) do

I got up at the crack of dawn

To greet  the morning (D) dew

(G) From high up in the tree tops

A sparrow (D) sang it’s greeting song

(A7) It sounded so inviting

I tried to sing (D) along

Guitar  transition

(G) But I couldn’t get my whistle right

(D)The sparrow flew away

(A7)) Maybe he will come back tomorrow 

 It was a very busy (D) day 

Guitar transition

(D) Ate some berries for my breakfast

As I climbed to a mountain (A7)top

Said “hello” to all the flowers

But I didn’t have time to (D) stop

(G) Because I happened by a  puddle

(D) Of newly melted snow

(A7) It glistened in the morning light

So I stopped to watch it (D) glow

Guitar   transition

(G) It changed slowly into a cloud

(D) And drifted far away

(A7) I made a note in my diary

It was a very busy (D) day

Guitar transition

(D) I looked out into the distance  

As far as I could (A7))see

And when I got to the very very end

I saw inside of me

Guitar  transition 

(G) Back came the song of the sparrow

And the puddle cloud –  now (D) gray 

(A7))It dropped rain on the flowers  

And saved them from decay (D)

Guitar transition

(D)Then  I wondered who taught that  sparrow

To sing  it’s greeting (A7) song

Why do  berries turn from green to red 

 Why does thunder sound so (D)strong 

(G)Who put  the light in the puddle

(D) What made it drift away

(A7) Where will all my tomorrow’s go

When there is only (D) yesterday

  It was a very busy (A7) day

  It was a very busy (D) day

  Joe Cromwell (c) 2007

 Inspiration: A walk to the top of a mountain.   If you look for the Source of all things in all things, you will see  everything as miraculous. ( Folk processed thought by  Lao Tzu Cheng, 6 BC) 

Mrs H. 

Over fifty years ago I was one of several young boys who regularly whistled and shouted  at Mrs. H as she paraded up and down main street on Saturday night.  She was in 60‘s; wore silk stockings, a red lacy dress, dark mascara and much too much red lipstick and rouge.  She seemed to be pleased by all the attention we showered on her.  It was a fun thing to do after the movies on Saturday nights.  We thought she was weird.  She thought she looked young and attractive.  We were both wrong.  She was just an old lady trying to look young.  And we were young boys who never gave a thought about growing old.

Last week I was walking on Main Street in White Plains and walked by an old  lady trying to look young.   Visions of Mrs. H  came to mind.  This time I didn’t whistle.  I just smiled approvingly and said “hello”.  She smiled in return and said “hello sir”.    After we past by each other, we turned around for a second look.  We smiled again and went on our separate ways.  I noticed she wasn’t wearing silk stockings.  Damn.  How could that old broad call me “sir”?

So here is the scenario, clean and simple.  After giving away much valuable information, we merely ask for a donation of 59 cents for whatever produced material is offered.  We advertise this offer through the utilization of "Twitter as One." We split the money, after expenses, three ways.

First off, I say the hell with tags!  Tags are yesterday.  Tags mean you are looking for something that already got tagged.  Forget it.  The media explosion is too fast for that.  By the time you tag it, you could be already on to the next big thing.  I thought this was the end of history!  Apparently not!

But that's not what I really wanted to say:  What I wanted to say was this: Let's turn the social media expolsion inside out and start making of the "many" a "one" again.  It looks like this:

Pick a twitter user name.  Add a password.  Then make that name and password group knowledge.  The group will then twitter as "one." 

Bang! a major network will be broadcasting again.  And the network will be us!

Just posted a "What's On Your Mind" on my Facebook profile.  It's a link to a TED Presentation by Clay Shirky, "How Twitter Can Make History".  It's a very important presentation on a subject that will continue to affect you dramatically and personally in the months and years to come:  the communications revolution, part 4.  I wanted to cut and paste it here but could not do so without giving Facebook the right to access it here. Charlie is a part of the revolution as are all those who participate in social media site's like Songster. 

Here she is again.  I thought she was nervous at the beginning, the make-over detracted from  her image, but she still sings like an angel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7Ayk9G7-sc&feature=email

 SONGSTER MEMBERSHIP 

 : ......” each and every life form tends to have its own unique perspective on truth, which leads to variations in belief systems.  But those with similar views tend to gravitate to each other for mutual support”.  (Jim Durst, in “Hue Manatee’s Quest”).

Expressing yourself and discovering  kindred spirits is one of the primary benefits of using this site.

This bird has got rhythm and loves Ray Charles.   If link doesn't work, copy and paste into your browser

http://www.maniacworld.com/bird-loves-ray-charles.html

Can't say what this really means, can't know who will understand it, 
but I learned something about sound that I never realized before.  

A little bit of echo makes a sound source apparently recede into 
the distance.  

This audio trick is in the same category as the visual trick of 3D 
for movies.

But once you know that the eye can be fooled into seeing "depth" 
where there is no real depth, then how can you be sure that
the perception of "depth" has any true correspondence with reality?

And once the ear can be tricked into thinking a sound is "in the distance" 
how can you be sure what distance really is?

Maybe the world is truly flat!

Here is a link to a super 3D street artist that will blow you away.  If link doesn't work, cut and past into your browser window.  

http://iainpetrie.typepad.com/the_four_ages_of_sand/2009/04/edgar-mueller-super-artist.html

It's a hard question.  I never liked coming up with definitive answers.

It so narrows the scope of things that I feel choked.

Why must a journey have a destination?  Why must the universe be, after all, finite?

It may be true that infinity can be touched but not taken.

I would touch it anyway.

So I pray at the altar

To a God I hardly know exisits

Hoping he keeps his promise

In spite of what I do.